In which Colin and Reg discuss Col's trip to Australia
*Please note the following is a verbatim transcription from the original pigeon cockerney*
Reg: Fack me Col, where's you bin, ah fawht yerd gawn an' died.
Col: 'old yer bleedin' awses Reg, ah's bin ter Awstrahlier, dintcha git me bleedin' postcard?
Reg: Yer, yer muss 'ave a right bundle of Orange ter affawd vat sort awliday.
Col: Well, aye ahd wun of vose anewdities come up, sah ver awld trahble insisted we went aht ver ter see her cuzzin.
Reg: Any good?
Col: Fackin mayzin myte. Fakkin bawstid of a jerney, abaht a day's flight.
Reg: Jer miss Cannin' 'ahn venn?
Col: No.
Reg: My old woman's awn abaht gahn abrawd, fackin' Majawkus or summat like vat. Myte look et Bennydawm or Ibeefia awr Lanzerotti. Spose it beats Clacton or Sarfend.
Col: Sarfend's ver awrsole awve Essix, 'sa ryte fackin' dump. Ver's awl vose re'irement places up ver East cahst, lyke Nawfuk en Linkunsheer, noyzee beacis in ver summa en fackin' wet and grey in ver fackin winn'a.
Reg: Yer, maykez yer looz ver fackin' will, dunnit? Fack me, s'lahk an jerry attrix's open prison. 'Ere, dja kno Ted Smiff's moved?
Col: Wot Ted oo played ver Banjer dahn ver Fevvers?
Reg: Yer, vats ryte Col. Jus upz en leaves, moved ter fackin' Linkunsheer 'en ee.
Col: Eye errd vat ver Fevvis is gern, 'an all.
Reg: Syne orv ver tymes Col. Veyz awl clahsen dahn, awr bean mayde inner feam pubz awr trendy gaffs vor ver Ippsters and yer trendy types wots bine up playcis dahn in Wahtchappl, awl voze places dahn Eest,
Col: Aye rimembiz venn yer kud bah wun of voze gaffs dahn Eest Ayte fer fack all munny. Bahta cuppler fahsand kwid, mynd yer, vaht worz in ver erly sixties, eye mean wort vey gawn for nah? Baht best part of a millyun?
Reg: Ah tahmes change, myte.
Col: Yer an' nawt fawr ver betta 'n awl. Ennyways, I'm gittin' awf myte, Ahll see yerz in ver Fevvers wan nyte, fawr its gawn.
Reg: Yer, tra myte.
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