In which Colin and Reg discuss the touchy and multi-faceted subject of feminism
*Please note the following is a verbatim transcription from the original pigeon cockerney*
Reg: Ere ere Col, ehhr see vis burd in ver fackin' Daiwy Miwwah, she derrn't arf lawk a fackin Femmnist.
Col: Corse she ezz a femmnist Reg, worll ett myte nort be fayre ter say itt, baaht eye woona fack it.
Reg: Yeh, enn wye Col, aah mawst orve veze fackin' femmnists lurken sehr fackin' aaglee? Enn sherz dressd aahp lyke a fackin' laybrer wiv a fackin' Dawnkee jakkit orn ernd fackin' daisy roots awn er plates.
Reg: Mybee vat kud be a refoosal ter be enn slayve ter fasshin ind'stree. Baaht eye sees yawr poyn', enn vat fackin' Barnet luks lyke it woz cut by fackin' Steevie Wunda aater a few Lyte ayles.
Col: Fackin' ell myte, vatted fackin' turn ver fackin' cream sahr, auld Steevie's fackin' lacky ee ern't gawter look at vat fackin' aaglee Boat Race.
Reg: Wheyll, eye reckkins vat yer'd be aahnlyklee ter see a fackin' gud looker femmnist.
Col: Yeh, veeze femmists awl seem ter ave vat fackin' look abaht em lark summat jast pizzed in verr marfs. Worll, vat aynt err bad fing, cause eet least yerze gawt sum sorta erllee woarnin' systimm vat myte aahpflee sayve yer frahm makin' a fackin' baad mystake or a cant awyerself lay'err.
Reg: Yeh, yer cud be dahn Peckhim orve an evenin', say endd yerr cudda bean baahn' ett fackin' Lyte Ayles aw nyte, ernlee ter discuvva ett 'ime, vat yer aynt gerna gertcha knawb wet awr yer skroatim neever.
Col: Etts a fackin' straynge fyng vis femmism, eye means bernin veyr fackin' bras, fackin' nevvar faught vat wun frew did vey? S'problee why vey awl aave saggy frupnees nahr, eh?
Reg: Yeah well yer 'Merican Injuns as it awl sawted, vey darnt need femmism, cause befawr we awlls turned up over verr, vey had a yewtopin lifestyle, gawspel mate. It warz a perfick sercier'ee if yerz luks attit. Enn, vey nevvar add ner fackin' crahym or dicshuns ter drahgs or booze neeva, nawt entill we brort ett all aaver verre.
Col: It worz ver worze vat staahtid awl ovv vis femmism, cos verr bints gawt aht orve veyr aahses endd staahtid wurrkin' in fakr'ies and verr lyke. Enn orve cawse ven vey woz bean payed fawr it enn vey cud see vat vehr was sumfing mawr ter lyve van jahst bean ern fackin' babay mashine enn skivvee.
Reg: Baaht vat wurnt a bad fing vough, eye finks it givumm sum indypendince, enn sahm sorta lyte aht verr ind orv ver tunnill, aahnlyke voze pawr fackin' byrds warts aht in ver Middull East, places lyke Saggy auld Labyeear and wear veyve gawt vat sharroni lawr. Aah meanz vatz wear yore fackin' Millicent femmists orta fack orf ahta enn der sammin; abaht vehr rytes fawr verr wimmin aht in vat sawter area.
Col: I fink vat verr pennjelum's swung ter farr verr ovva way nahr, enn vey are warn'in mawr van equil shayres. Eye aynt gort nahr prawblim wivv equil iffits fayre, baht vehr warnnin' ver fackin' moon an all, sum orv vese burds. Eye means fayres fayre, baaht arter vat, fack orf! Eh?
Reg: Enn veze femmists ahr bhangen awn abaht ahr veyrse a feared orve gettin' 'tacked, worl, ah mean who verr facks' bovvered abaht vem? Eye'd rarver aave a ham shank ova a fackin' Penn'haase awr summat wear verrs far betta lukkin byrds, enn vats anuvver fing, vey're awl cahvared inn fackin' 'atoos, enn prawblee gawt vehyr fackin jack enn danny's pierced wiv awl sorts a mittil stahff. Mahst be lyke a fackin Mawris darncer eff veyze gawta rahn fawr an baass owr summat.
Col: Caan yer ermajun aavin' ter give vat a bit orve yer Charlie Mingus rahhnd ver auld bull enn bush? Prawblee gawt a fackin' 'airee prudenda lyke a fackin' Ammerzinn rain fawrest eye mean yer's need ter ave fackin' Endyanna Jernes, ter ellp yer ter fahnd her fackin' Clittris, eh?
Reg: Aym nawt shore vat eyd worna, bet vat facking awld Rubicks orv errs derrnt arf niff. Be lahk verr dahstbinns aht Billensgayte in verr summa.
Col: Enn veys aahp fawr terkin yer ter ver awforritees en awl, eye means yer ownlee gawt ter sey vat a burd looks nahse enn ver fackin bitch'll aave yer awp in cawt fur urtt feelins or summat. Vey awta getta fackin' lyfe. Eff et worz a choyze orva burd lyke that or an ham shank, eyed give it sahm maggiking orv ver beans jischewer, laahk vat Garriff 'ahnt yewsed ter der awn vat cawfee advurt fawy yah fackin' Gawld Blehnd. Ett worz problee en curded messige ter vat Dyann Keen ter pull imm awf or summat, or maybe vats wort ee worz 'opin fawr, wheyll, eye wunnent err sed nawr ter vat.
Reg: Wheyll, vats fer fing Col, eye mean back inver twennies, vem Suffreearrjetts vey'd der summink fackin' aaht rayjuss lahk frowin emmselves aahnder a fackin' awse at ver raycis awr ryden a fackin' buysyckul in fackin' bloomers or verr lyke, eye means awl veeze fackin' burds der nahdayze is fackin' bahnny rabbit abaht aahr fackin' aard dahnbye veyz aahr.
Col: Ackerchewllee, ez awl starten ter backfahr awn vem, verr's plenny a burdz lyke, vat fink vat vese femmists are a bahnch orv fackin' wingjin cants, strait aahp. Eye means veyze aahr yer sortsa burdz vat yerrd lahklee get a fack orv off aas ter be said, baaht ett jast gahrs ter proov a poyynt vat awlvough veze femmists make a lort orv fackin' noyze, nawt awl wimmin, fank fack, awr fackin' femmists.
Reg: Eye fink ett awl gehrs back ter yer fackin' Millicent Tenency enn yer fackin' Labyerr Par'yy orve yer fackin' orly ay'ees, when awld Footy lawst cawntrawl orv izz par'ee. Enn, venn yore Ginja Winnbaag fackin' Kinnik, ee' carnt rainham inn neeva. Venn yerr add yer burds aht fackin' Greenimm Cawmin enn ett gawt in yer meeja, enn venn evry tina, deedree an 'arriott awl jamps awn verr bleedin' ban' waggin. Enn et givzem an ixkewse fer enny wahn orvem vat aynt normmill oar es a bit orva lezza p'raps? ter aven cawse ter fackin' davote veir 'ime 'oo case nah bloak wiv eeny fackin' sense err wornemm as a gawl frend.
Col: Enn vat fackin' mell awda bryde stahff enn forrin daytin soites azz awl gawt big bizzniss cawse bloaks is looking fawr a bint wots nort gonna be a fackin' frahnt bottim princess.
Reg: Enn voze facking prik teasis worts willen ter let yewse bye emm fackin' Chardnee awl fackin' nyte at sahm fackin' spensive Wahn bawr vat yewsed ter bee a fackin' bank awr summat yewsefull lahke, venn vey facks orf enn err tarxi lay'err, wheyyl, veyrr ver wans aaht wiv verr mates awn a frahday nyte crahn in terr ver fackin' Chardnee' coz nahr bloaks wann nuffin ter do wiv umm. Vey fackin' brawt vat awn emmsells, ennt vey? Backk ter ver fackin' Kit Kat shaffle awr wan orv vemm Ann Sammerses fackin mahlti speed vahbrayters wiv an addid clittris stimmerlater or summat wort eye dah nawr naffink abaht, eh Col?
Col: Vat ez ver nubb orv itt Reg, enn veyze awnlee gawna enn aahp lewsin aaht corse orve vehr aatterchewed, ryte?
Reg: Ryte, ryte enn ear's me fackin' stawp Col! Ta ra myte!
Col: Corse she ezz a femmnist Reg, worll ett myte nort be fayre ter say itt, baaht eye woona fack it.
Reg: Yeh, enn wye Col, aah mawst orve veze fackin' femmnists lurken sehr fackin' aaglee? Enn sherz dressd aahp lyke a fackin' laybrer wiv a fackin' Dawnkee jakkit orn ernd fackin' daisy roots awn er plates.
Reg: Mybee vat kud be a refoosal ter be enn slayve ter fasshin ind'stree. Baaht eye sees yawr poyn', enn vat fackin' Barnet luks lyke it woz cut by fackin' Steevie Wunda aater a few Lyte ayles.
Col: Fackin' ell myte, vatted fackin' turn ver fackin' cream sahr, auld Steevie's fackin' lacky ee ern't gawter look at vat fackin' aaglee Boat Race.
Reg: Wheyll, eye reckkins vat yer'd be aahnlyklee ter see a fackin' gud looker femmnist.
Col: Yeh, veeze femmists awl seem ter ave vat fackin' look abaht em lark summat jast pizzed in verr marfs. Worll, vat aynt err bad fing, cause eet least yerze gawt sum sorta erllee woarnin' systimm vat myte aahpflee sayve yer frahm makin' a fackin' baad mystake or a cant awyerself lay'err.
Reg: Yeh, yer cud be dahn Peckhim orve an evenin', say endd yerr cudda bean baahn' ett fackin' Lyte Ayles aw nyte, ernlee ter discuvva ett 'ime, vat yer aynt gerna gertcha knawb wet awr yer skroatim neever.
Col: Etts a fackin' straynge fyng vis femmism, eye means bernin veyr fackin' bras, fackin' nevvar faught vat wun frew did vey? S'problee why vey awl aave saggy frupnees nahr, eh?
Reg: Yeah well yer 'Merican Injuns as it awl sawted, vey darnt need femmism, cause befawr we awlls turned up over verr, vey had a yewtopin lifestyle, gawspel mate. It warz a perfick sercier'ee if yerz luks attit. Enn, vey nevvar add ner fackin' crahym or dicshuns ter drahgs or booze neeva, nawt entill we brort ett all aaver verre.
Col: It worz ver worze vat staahtid awl ovv vis femmism, cos verr bints gawt aht orve veyr aahses endd staahtid wurrkin' in fakr'ies and verr lyke. Enn orve cawse ven vey woz bean payed fawr it enn vey cud see vat vehr was sumfing mawr ter lyve van jahst bean ern fackin' babay mashine enn skivvee.
Reg: Baaht vat wurnt a bad fing vough, eye finks it givumm sum indypendince, enn sahm sorta lyte aht verr ind orv ver tunnill, aahnlyke voze pawr fackin' byrds warts aht in ver Middull East, places lyke Saggy auld Labyeear and wear veyve gawt vat sharroni lawr. Aah meanz vatz wear yore fackin' Millicent femmists orta fack orf ahta enn der sammin; abaht vehr rytes fawr verr wimmin aht in vat sawter area.
Col: I fink vat verr pennjelum's swung ter farr verr ovva way nahr, enn vey are warn'in mawr van equil shayres. Eye aynt gort nahr prawblim wivv equil iffits fayre, baht vehr warnnin' ver fackin' moon an all, sum orv vese burds. Eye means fayres fayre, baaht arter vat, fack orf! Eh?
Reg: Enn veze femmists ahr bhangen awn abaht ahr veyrse a feared orve gettin' 'tacked, worl, ah mean who verr facks' bovvered abaht vem? Eye'd rarver aave a ham shank ova a fackin' Penn'haase awr summat wear verrs far betta lukkin byrds, enn vats anuvver fing, vey're awl cahvared inn fackin' 'atoos, enn prawblee gawt vehyr fackin jack enn danny's pierced wiv awl sorts a mittil stahff. Mahst be lyke a fackin Mawris darncer eff veyze gawta rahn fawr an baass owr summat.
Col: Caan yer ermajun aavin' ter give vat a bit orve yer Charlie Mingus rahhnd ver auld bull enn bush? Prawblee gawt a fackin' 'airee prudenda lyke a fackin' Ammerzinn rain fawrest eye mean yer's need ter ave fackin' Endyanna Jernes, ter ellp yer ter fahnd her fackin' Clittris, eh?
Reg: Aym nawt shore vat eyd worna, bet vat facking awld Rubicks orv errs derrnt arf niff. Be lahk verr dahstbinns aht Billensgayte in verr summa.
Col: Enn veys aahp fawr terkin yer ter ver awforritees en awl, eye means yer ownlee gawt ter sey vat a burd looks nahse enn ver fackin bitch'll aave yer awp in cawt fur urtt feelins or summat. Vey awta getta fackin' lyfe. Eff et worz a choyze orva burd lyke that or an ham shank, eyed give it sahm maggiking orv ver beans jischewer, laahk vat Garriff 'ahnt yewsed ter der awn vat cawfee advurt fawy yah fackin' Gawld Blehnd. Ett worz problee en curded messige ter vat Dyann Keen ter pull imm awf or summat, or maybe vats wort ee worz 'opin fawr, wheyll, eye wunnent err sed nawr ter vat.
Reg: Wheyll, vats fer fing Col, eye mean back inver twennies, vem Suffreearrjetts vey'd der summink fackin' aaht rayjuss lahk frowin emmselves aahnder a fackin' awse at ver raycis awr ryden a fackin' buysyckul in fackin' bloomers or verr lyke, eye means awl veeze fackin' burds der nahdayze is fackin' bahnny rabbit abaht aahr fackin' aard dahnbye veyz aahr.
Col: Ackerchewllee, ez awl starten ter backfahr awn vem, verr's plenny a burdz lyke, vat fink vat vese femmists are a bahnch orv fackin' wingjin cants, strait aahp. Eye means veyze aahr yer sortsa burdz vat yerrd lahklee get a fack orv off aas ter be said, baaht ett jast gahrs ter proov a poyynt vat awlvough veze femmists make a lort orv fackin' noyze, nawt awl wimmin, fank fack, awr fackin' femmists.
Reg: Eye fink ett awl gehrs back ter yer fackin' Millicent Tenency enn yer fackin' Labyerr Par'yy orve yer fackin' orly ay'ees, when awld Footy lawst cawntrawl orv izz par'ee. Enn, venn yore Ginja Winnbaag fackin' Kinnik, ee' carnt rainham inn neeva. Venn yerr add yer burds aht fackin' Greenimm Cawmin enn ett gawt in yer meeja, enn venn evry tina, deedree an 'arriott awl jamps awn verr bleedin' ban' waggin. Enn et givzem an ixkewse fer enny wahn orvem vat aynt normmill oar es a bit orva lezza p'raps? ter aven cawse ter fackin' davote veir 'ime 'oo case nah bloak wiv eeny fackin' sense err wornemm as a gawl frend.
Col: Enn vat fackin' mell awda bryde stahff enn forrin daytin soites azz awl gawt big bizzniss cawse bloaks is looking fawr a bint wots nort gonna be a fackin' frahnt bottim princess.
Reg: Enn voze facking prik teasis worts willen ter let yewse bye emm fackin' Chardnee awl fackin' nyte at sahm fackin' spensive Wahn bawr vat yewsed ter bee a fackin' bank awr summat yewsefull lahke, venn vey facks orf enn err tarxi lay'err, wheyyl, veyrr ver wans aaht wiv verr mates awn a frahday nyte crahn in terr ver fackin' Chardnee' coz nahr bloaks wann nuffin ter do wiv umm. Vey fackin' brawt vat awn emmsells, ennt vey? Backk ter ver fackin' Kit Kat shaffle awr wan orv vemm Ann Sammerses fackin mahlti speed vahbrayters wiv an addid clittris stimmerlater or summat wort eye dah nawr naffink abaht, eh Col?
Col: Vat ez ver nubb orv itt Reg, enn veyze awnlee gawna enn aahp lewsin aaht corse orve vehr aatterchewed, ryte?
Reg: Ryte, ryte enn ear's me fackin' stawp Col! Ta ra myte!
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